We won't sleep together?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
did i just pee glitter
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
