Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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