Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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