Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
