i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
