Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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