we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
