I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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