Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Couch. On fire.
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