He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
