Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I said "one day" and that day is not today
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize