should my penis look like a turkey
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
