Yo dont text me then not text me
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
