I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
