So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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