I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
