I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
