This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
