THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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