i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
