Just fell off a train. Bad.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
