All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
