Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
