It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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