You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
