so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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