found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Randomize
