I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
