I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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