Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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