i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
