arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He better not be in your backpack
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
