Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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