why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
