I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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