This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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