a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
