i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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