YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
