maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize