community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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