Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
