Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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