The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
When are your genitals available?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
