There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
