it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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