Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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