Whoa Z and x make the same sound
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
