haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize