Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
