Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
no, he came in my armpit
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Randomize
