Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
