it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Someone came in the potted fern
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Randomize
