real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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