Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
