you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
