I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Just invented taco cereal.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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