So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
