What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Just cropdusted the office
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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