they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
